Excerpts From The Redundancy

After a one-night stand between two of the top people in the company (rough draft, unedited):

The woman, Rosemary Polaner:

Lying on her back, shaking off sleep, Rosemary reaches across with an arm.


The way she prefers it.

Get up, get in, get off, get out.

According to Management By Objectives, or MBOs, more than four objectives is no objectives.

Though stretch goals are good. Such as getting her off.

He had a wife to go home to, which helped. A hot wife, at that.

Rosemary isn’t sure why he wanted her.

Or she him.

Except, hormones. And competitiveness. And that old Everest rationale: because it’s there.

The man, Darryl Madsen (who is married to Stacey):

A 3.5, he figures as he takes his morning shower.

The YouConn performance review scale ranges in theory from 1.0 to 5.0, though the reality is 2.5 to 4.5 in half-point increments. 2.5, needs improvement, and he’d given out too many of those, in the boardroom and in the bedroom. 3.0, meets expectations. 3.5, exceeds some position requirements. Which she did, her athleticism shining through. 4.0, noteworthy. That was Stacey, consistently above, both quality and quantity. And in truth, she was probably a 4.5, exceeds in all ways, except that they’d grown… not tired of each other, but used to each other. Inured. Comfortable.

And thus the need for variety.

In theory, there is a 5.0. Even in his fantasies, or in a porn nightcap while traveling for YouConn, he never awards a 5.0. He won’t allow it at YouConn, either. That’s the unattainable carrot, the mirage for employees. Maybe steel-driving John Henry had earned a 5.0, but he wasn’t around at the end to collect.